Although sometimes difficult, opening your home to a foster child can be a rewarding experience for the whole family.
Many children who are in the foster care system come from homes where neglect and emotional, physical and sexual abuse are often present. A child can feel betrayed by his own parents and insecure about who he is and his own value. Bad behavior is the language many foster children use to communicate their helplessness, rage, confusion and hurt; these are all symptoms of a child in pain.
Instructions
1. Recognize the issue. It's important to acknowledge the problem behavior and to identify what exactly the problem is; do not ignore the issue. Deal with the issue and give consequences. Discuss with the child why the behavior is wrong. End the discussion with praise and on a positive note. Let the child know that it's the behavior that is not acceptable, not the child.
2. Help the child develop a feeling vocabulary if anger control is an issue. Kicking, screaming and throwing things when he is angry comes from not being taught other ways to express his feelings. Help him learn what the warning signs are when he is beginning to get angry, help calm himself down or ask for help. Teach him some anger control strategies he can use when he feels himself beginning to get frustrated.
3. Recognize that the child may be struggling with loyalty issues. He may feel that if he accepts you as the foster parent, it is a rejection of his own parent(s). He may also feel that any positive feeling towards his birth parents are a sign of disloyalty to the foster family. Let the child know right away that you do not want to try to be a replacement for his parents.
4. Emphasize the things that the child does right. Let him know how valuable he is. Teach him that the world is generally a positive place.
Tags: anger control, child know, feel that, that child