Adopt a Father
I once heard a radio story about a woman who--having been estranged from her family for most of her adult life--decided to adopt a new family. She placed an ad in her local newspaper, and, to make a long story short, ended up being "emotionally adopted" (not legally adopted) by an elderly married couple who already had three grown children of their own. As a woman whose father slipped from the scene when I was an infant and whose stepfather died when I was a teenager, this story intrigued me. It made me realize that the definition of family isn't limited to blood relatives. May these tips inspire and guide you on your search to finding the father of your dreams.
Instructions
1. Sit with sadness. Being without a father affects everyone differently. What impact has this void left on your life? Take time to make peace with any painful feelings this loss has left you with.
2. Announce your intention. Do make your desire to adopt a father known to the world whether you tell everyone you meet, your close friends or just the air that surrounds your bed before sleep. Longings rarely become reality if we hold them tight like secrets.
3. Ignore nay sayers and scowlers. Adopting a father is not a mainstream idea. Many people will not understand your desire. You will, however, find support from the open-minded and the openhearted.
4. Clarify what you want from an adopted father. Do you want to go to baseball games? Share holidays? Get advice? How often to you want to see your adopted dad? Does he need to live in your town? Can he be a cyber dad who lives in another city but communicates with you online? What about a pen pal dad to whom you write letters? Getting clear about what you want from your adopted father will help make your search a success.
5. Look to the men in your life. Is there a man you already know who has the qualities of your dream dad?
6. Ask directly. Chances are, your potential adopted father is not a mind reader. Tell him directly that you'd like to adopt him as a father. Explain that you're not talking about legal adoption, but emotional adoption. Let him know what this means to you, and allow him ample time and space to process your request.
7. Place an ad. If there isn't a man in your immediate life who is your ideal father material, branch out. Place an ad on Craigslist or hang posters at your church. If you don't find a father this way you will, most likely, come away with an interesting story.
Tags: adopted father, adopt father, Adopt Father, make your, want from, what want